By Ian Smith
Loan signings, it’s fair to say we’ve had a mixed bag over the years. For every Patrick Bamford there’s been an Alex Nimely and for every Shay Given there’s been an Andy Dibble.
Whereas some players’ temporary spells are instantly forgettable (John Eustace anyone?), there are those who go on to achieve cult status amongst the Boro faithful, taken to each Teessider’s heart as if they really were ‘one of our own’.
One such example, and the absolute epitome of such a status, is a big burly German. No, we’re not talking about Maxi Haas.
We are, of course, talking about Uwe Fuchs.
A Leap into the Unknown
Aside from having one of those names that can easily be mispronounced (accidentally on purpose more often than not when I was a kid), there was more to him than just a slightly amusing surname.
Arriving in late January 1995 on the recommendation of Tony Woodcock, a former England teammate of Boro boss Bryan Robson, he had been described by Woodcock (who had seen out his career in Germany) as the ‘typical English centre forward’, in those days a euphemism for ‘burly battering ram’. The 29-year-old had hardly been in the most blistering of form for his parent club SC Fortuna Koln and found himself out of the first team picture.
Without the internet being a thing back then, there was no scouring YouTube for clips of goals, no Transfermarkt/Squawka stats to go on, just the recommendation of a German football expert. It seems crazy to think that some players were signed so blindly, but it happened, with varying degrees of success. Luckily for Boro and Robson, Fuchs turned out to be one of those success stories.
With Boro’s promotion push having hit the skids somewhat (just one in six since saw them in danger of dropping off the pace), goals had started to dry up. The prolific duo of John Hendrie and Paul Wilkinson had hit a dry patch in front of goal, and numerous failed attempts to snare Sheffield United dangerman Jan Aage Fjorftoft had left Robson frustrated in his attempts to rejuvenate Boro’s forward line.
So having turned to Fuchs in a leap of faith, there was more than a touch of the unknown about what to expect.
What followed, however, would see Gazette readers vote Uwe Fuchs as their favourite ever Boro loan signing in 2015. This was some accolade given the company he kept on that poll (think Geremi, Bamford, Given for example). But faced with the reality of his short stay on Teesside, it’s hard to argue against that outcome.
Scoring on his debut in a 1-0 win over Charlton Athletic, he followed it up with a goal away at Wolves. An instant hit in the box, he provided a fresh impetus that had been so badly needed in the weeks prior to his arrival. As he was such an unknown quantity, opposition defenders found him hard to play against, unprepared for a duel with a player who had an unfortunate and often frightening likeness to the Bond villain Jaws.
Opponents were often subjected to and no doubt intimidated by that same menacing look.
An Exotic Hero (On and Off the Pitch)
Fast becoming a fans favourite, he soon cemented himself in the hearts and minds of the Ayresome Park crowd after rattling in a hat-trick in a 3-0 win at home to Bristol City.
Sat in the East Stand (unfamiliar surroundings for me given I was usually sat in the Main Stand), I had a fantastic view of the finish that completed his hat trick. After a knockdown from fellow exotic arrival Jaime Moreno (that’s right, Uwe was exotic in comparison to those around him), Fuchs expertly caressed the ball into the keeper’s bottom right-hand corner with a right-footed volley.
I’d found myself sat in the East Stand given my membership with the now defunct (must be, surely) Roary the Lion Club. We’d met Boro staff that day, played football in the sports hall at Ayresome Park and then were given a complimentary seat for the game. Pretty cool for a kid of just ten as I was back then, but the sight of Fuchs powering home that third, and him celebrating in front of us, was the definite highlight for me.
A goal in the 2-0 win just a few days later at home to Watford saw him take his tally to six in his first five games, some strike rate for a player whose journeyman career had seen him amass a less than impressive goals to game ratio in the past.
Understandably cries of ‘sign him up’ soon began to ring out on the terraces. As well as becoming a fan favourite on the pitch, he was also quickly becoming one off it too. Aside from his jovial manner in post-match interviews, the big German was also happy to display his endearingly daft grin to anyone who wanted a photo with him, and stopped to sign autographs without the slightest hint of being inconvenienced.
However, it was his rumoured tryst with celebrity Boro fan Jet (of Gladiators fame) that pretty much cemented his status as cult hero (as well as leaving a few of the Boro dads green with envy).
In fact, so the story goes, after a bit of training ground banter from resident wind up merchant Hendrie regarding his apparent extracurricular activities, Fuchs left the Scotsman with a nice big shiner. That said, the tale has been widely discredited, with Hendrie having actually picked up the black eye in a rough and tumble encounter away at Barnsley.
Still, it’s hard to believe that Fuchs wouldn’t have been the victim of some dressing room ribbing, and the story is often told to this day. Who needs facts to get in the way of a tasty tale anyway?
A Premature End to a Fairytale Story
As his time at Middlesbrough drew to a close, he found himself on the periphery, ironically due to a certain Mr Fjortfoft. Yes, Robbo had finally got his man, and at £1.3m the Norwegian was hardly coming just to make up the numbers.
By that point though, Fuchs’ signing had achieved its desired effect – Boro were back at the summit of the First Division. He still managed to register a couple more goals, and could maybe have had a few more had he not prematurely ended his season with a challenge that could accurately be described as a ‘strikers tackle’.
Missing the final three games of the season due to suspension, including the memorable final game at Ayresome Park against Luton Town, there’s no doubt his time at Boro came to premature end.
It probably wouldn’t have made a difference to his future at the club (or lack of), but given the impact he’d made and the impression on the fans who sung his name so loud on the terraces, it seemed such a cruel way to end his short-lived spell on Teesside. No sooner had he become a hero than he was being shown the door.
When quizzed on Fuchs, Robson opined of the German “He is not a footballer”, a rather harsh way to describe someone who’d banged in nine goals over thirteen games and contributed hugely to Boro’s eventual promotion.
Ok, he perhaps had all the grace of drunken giraffe at times, but like most big strikers in the game, he was prone to some exquisite footwork on occasion. Some of his finishing was top notch too, and there’s no doubt he had been a threat throughout his stay in the red and white of Middlesbrough.
His spell at Millwall the season after, earned after his exploits at Boro no doubt, proved that his spell on Teesside was perhaps a case of ‘right club, right time’. A paltry record of five from 36 games at The New Den was more in keeping with the tallies he had recorded back in Germany
It’s difficult to envisage him ever having been able to carry on such hot form for Boro in the Premier League had they stumped up the £500,000 his signature required. Indeed, the club, through Fuchs’ own admission in an interview with the Evening Gazette, appeared to have other plans.
“They had a new stadium and were building a new team and I realised I would be not in it. I understood that. I accepted it. And so I left with no regrets and just good memories.”
Good memories for us fans too. I’ll never forget the time Uwe Fuchs and his big, daft grin came to town.
He will always be the ultimate cult hero.
After all, how many loanees do you know who come in, bag a load of goals as well as a local beauty, and then go out in a blaze of glory with a rock n roll tackle?
None, that’s how many.
